Privilege and Pain The Choice is Plain

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Living a life of financial privilege is just that:  A life of privilege.  Those in positions of such grace, where they are cushioned from some of the greatest pains of life are faced with a great challenge and a great gift.

The gift, is a life protected from heart wrenching tragedies that so many face each day on a daily basis due directly and indirectly to lack of money.

I was told recently, by a young man from North Philadelphia, speaking on the loss of friends and family about violent deaths:   “we don’t cry no more”  “the funerals are just part of growing up”.

I’ve had, the honor, the privilege of sitting with mothers in Haiti as they held their children, who had swollen bellies from malnutrition.

I say this is an honor, a privilege because this is the great challenge of those in positions of financial wealth.  Entering the lives, being in unity, in oneness with those who have lives and experiences they cannot easily understand.

Pain is the single greatest source for the potential of unity among humanity.  It is often those in places of wealth who feel isolated when tragedy hits.  No one around them understands or wants to understand.  They have no foundation to be with those who are hurting.

But pain and loss does not stop at the boundary line between North Philadelphia and the Mainline.

For those who have never missed a meal due to lack of money, for those who have never lost a loved one because they could not afford to move into a safer community, it is much harder to be humbled and recognize the fragility of life, and thus to appreciate it.

It is a great challenge to live a life of privilege.  Money will not forever safeguard you from the stormy waves of life but it can leave you dangerously alone when the waves come.

I choose to meet people in their pain, not because I want to be part of an exclusive club that has experienced unfathomable pains, but rather I desire to plant the seeds for  peace and unity which grows into a beautiful and deep rooted tree of life which all can receive from  when we choose to go through the pain with others.   I enter the pain not to stay in it, but to allow an unshakable recognition of equality and oneness to blossom forth.  With this comes a profound joy for life tempered with humility and a cherished understanding for life, all and every life.

Pain can isolate, but when we all recognize our own fragility our own humanity, and that all our barriers to one another are merely facades.  Oneness can be attained.   From the ashes rises the phoenix.

 

 

 

My Children are starving, because sustainability is just a trend.

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Fair-trade and sustainability.  We look for it in supermarkets; we demand it from our local coffee shops.  Yet something is lurking.  Is this merely a trend, something cool and hip to jump on board with, or is this truly our desire, to treat humans with dignity and respect by paying a fair and livable wage?

As a freelance that has worked with non-profits, corporate companies, small businesses, and mom and pop families I have come to a sadly cynical place.  It’s all a sham.  No one will pay you a sustainable wage.  99% of my experience has been that all of my clients expected me to subsidize my living expenses somewhere else.  No one wanted and even worse yet, expected to pay me a fair livable wage.

The hypocrisy and irony in all of this is wryly humorous.  I recently conversed with a company that built its business on the reputation of purchasing fair-trade product.  They needed a website.  Their expectation, I would build half the website for free then they would decide whether to pay me or not moving forward.

Doing work with for-profit businesses is a no brainer, a livable wage MUST be paid to you, or at the very least the unpaid work should guarantee you future profit sharing or future work based on the amount of unpaid work you’ve done.  This should all be in writing NOT a gentleman’s agreement.  Because all of the gentleman, if there ever were any, have all died off.

Non-profits add an interesting mix to things.  Sure everyone likes to help out a good cause from time to time.  Give back, volunteer, help out.  Problem is a lot of non-profits have come to expect free work. And even worse a lot of non-profits make a profit and further their business through your unpaid contributions.  This isn’t always a bad thing but it does reduce the market place where a person could otherwise have made a living.  Giving back and volunteerism can wipe out positions that could have otherwise offered employment or fairly paid work.

The major problem is everyone is taking.  There are some non-profits and even businesses who cannot afford to pay sustainable rates.  What happens however is when non-profits and businesses who can afford to pay these rates see the work getting done at unsustainable pay they jump on board and say I want in on that too!

So what is needed is some self-dignity, social responsibility and self-regulation.  A business and non-profit who can afford to pay sustainable rates SHOULD.  The determining factor shouldn’t be whether they can get it done for free or at a lo pay.  The determining factor should be if the value of the work is worth the cost of the sustainable rate.

It must also be mentioned that work done for goodwill and as incentives to draw in clients should not be expected or demanded.  They should be received as exactly what they are, gifts.

Dropping the Ball and still letting ourselves be loved.

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Dropping the ball. How do we allow ourselves to be loved in our moments of greatest failure? By recognizing we are not defined by our failures and while it would be catchy to say we are defined by how we respond to them even that can not be true. We are defined by the inner worth we know we have but find so hard to hear when the world tells us it is about what we do, what we accomplish, rather than allowing our accomplishments and what we do to flow from knowing who we are.
 

Self discovery or Self determination

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Am I my own?
Am I not a mystery unto myself?
With every breath,
Defining or discovering?
Destined or determined?
Surrender I choose
But choosing truth not preference
With self determination is self destruction
Identity given not self created
Opening life, every life
not as self serving, self defined
but mystery,
gift
to one, to all
to unity
unity only in discovery

Morning breaks as darkness recedes. © 2012 Joseph Molieri

Affection, As a Gift.

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Physical affection, sexual, or platonic, should always be prompted not from a physical desire but from a spiritual affection toward the beloved.

Anything less is objectification of another human for our own gratification.

Indulgence of this gratification will cause us to ultimately wither and die spiritually, from lack of how we are meant to connect with others. We are created as gifts to give and recieve love, in all it’s manifestations whether it be through sexual, verbal, written, or any other form.  But the means, the manifestation must never become the end desire.